Our open relationship finally resulted in her having an affair. I had encouraged her. Perhaps to alleviate any guilt on my part. At a public bar one night she announced that "the guy" was present. She offered the option of pointing out the lover. After a few minutes of contemplation I took it up. After all, the whole open relationship thing is about confronting one's irrational jealousies. Of course it was going to be hard the first few times. I studied the so-called lover identified across the room observing quite cooly: "He looks like a bastard". I had first made sure I wasn't simply knee-jerk reacting to jealousy, and her response confirmed it: "I know. He *is* a bastard. I find it all the more sexy. He is cheating on his girlfriend who is so nice when she talks to me. The poor innocent doesn't suspect a thing." "I can be an asshole too... if you like. I'm a good actor when I want to be." A lifetime of conditioning in a monogamous society (hypocritical though it may be) had me wanting to (impossibly) be everything for her. She didn't want fantasy, she wanted reality, and told me so: "It's not the same. I know you love me." ______________________________________________ Back to main article. Created for the Undesirable Propagation Unit.